February 23, 2018

Half A Year

I've been your Mama for 6 whole months now. I cannot even believe how fast it goes. When "they" say time flies, "they" definitely aren't kidding. I get it now. It feels like you were born yesterday and that you've been in our lives for years all at once.

I look at my body and am so continuously amazed that I carried your tiny, little body inside mine. We watched you grow from a little lemon to a big watermelon. We were amazed weekly at how much my belly was growing. I loved feeling every single kick and roll and how much you hated when something was set on top of my belly. We loved watching you roll around inside and feeling your hiccups daily.

I couldn't wait to hold you and see your sweet, little face and tiny little fingers. I was reminded often that I was never alone. If I was driving or walking through the store, you would send a kick to remind me that we were together. Something only the two of us have shared. We longed for you to be here, and then as the time got closer, we worried we had no idea what we were doing!

Some of these long nights turn into really early mornings and exhaustion sets in. Yet, you do everything you can every single day to make sure you are making the best life for your little one. All you want is for them to be kind and brave and confident. But you wonder time and time again how you will do those things as they grow and if you are doing anything right.

As all of these babies are born around me, I get so emotional thinking back to those first days when you were the tiniest, little thing and slept on my chest every day. I get sad thinking of you growing. But then you learn something new and I'm torn between wanting you to stay this age forever and not being able to wait for you to grow and change.

Being born on the day of a total solar eclipse, we're told you will be unusually fearless and independent. That you will come into the world being sprinkled with an added energy for life. Nothing could be more true about you so far. Your personality fits this perfectly and you have shown us that you are doing to be a "do it yourself" kind of girl.

Every day I'm learning more about being a Mom. Some moments of "Wow, I totally just rocked that," mixed in with lots of moments of, "Hmmm...probably just did that wrong," or "Well I don't know what to do next." We're on this journey together and it's the most fun, emotional, rewarding, exhausting, greatest thing I've ever done.

You're totally prepared for your life to change. You're ready for your nights to include early bedtimes and cuddles instead of nights out with friends. You're ready for middle of the night feedings and runny noses and high chair messes. You just can never fully prepare for how much your heart will change, how much love you have for this little person that has changed every thing that you are.

You really are the happiest baby and have totally made me slow down and just enjoy the moments. We couldn't love you any more, and then tomorrow comes and we do.

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