January 3, 2018

Becoming a Mom

It's Christmas break and I'm, once again, sitting in the nursery rocking Larson. At this point I never ever want to go back to work. This has been the best break I've had and it's because of how much we slowed down. We had nothing planned. We did a lot of sitting around at home, cuddled up, loving on our babe.

It's impossible to really explain how much I love this girl. This weird thing happens when you become a Mom, and you totally understand all of the things that parents always talk about. You don't think you can ever love something this much, and then this tiny little person comes around and really teaches you what love means.

I spent every day of this break just sitting there staring at her while she slept in my arms. Remembering every moment of her short 4 months on earth so far. How her tongue quivered while she dramatically screamed in the hospital, the little pink pants she came home in that she was drowning in, how she smiled in her sleep every day while she slept on my chest during maternity leave, and how much I cried on the way to work the first week because of how much she looked like she'd grown when I got home.

Last night, Adam and I laid in bed looking at photos on our phones of how tiny she was and talked about how it's insane that we can already be forgetting moments from what seems like yesterday.

When they say that you want them to stay little, but love watching them grow all at the same time, it's so true. There's a giant lump in my throat when I see photos or videos of her at only a couple days old, but I love watching her learn and explore. She is now reaching for things, laughing, and responding to our voices and every single day is just so much fun.

This girl has changed me. She has made both of us better. We were so ready to become parents, but I don't think either of us can name what really happens when your child enters the world. Each day just keeps getting better and better and we love doing life as a family of 3.

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